Rainbow Baby: Bridger Lee

Bridger Lee is our rainbow baby. "Rainbow babies" are starting to break the silence surrounding miscarriage, stillbirth, neonatal death or infant loss.  Here's our rainbow baby story.

rainbow baby

Bridger Lee is our rainbow baby.  Actually, our oldest son, Breck Andrew is our rainbow baby as well. But, 5 years ago when I miscarried my first pregnancy; my first baby, I did't know any personal stories of miscarriage, other than of my Mom's miscarriage, before my brother was born.  Every Christmas, my mom would hang an empty cradle ornament on our tree to remember the baby she miscarried.  The empty cradle was a powerful visual message for me, even as a young girl.  Miscarriage can be a very isolating experience.  And, very spiritual + painful all at once.  During my miscarriages, I found myself quickly processing deep + extreme emotions of both life + death.  But, these emotions weren't exactly tangible.  These emotions were something I had to process alone, as my pregnancies were not far enough along for other people to be on the journey with me, other than my husband.  I've found that being open about my loss has helped me heal + it's helped others along their own journey as well.

rainbow baby photography

My first miscarriage was on Christmas Eve, in the Rocky Mountains.  It was devastating to loose my first baby on the night of such spiritual significance, the eve of our Savior's birth.  It was physically + emotionally painful to wake up on Christmas morning with such a big loss to face.  We hadn't told any friends or family about my pregnancy.  We thought it would be the best surprise to call our parents on Christmas morning to tell them that they would become grandparents in just a few short months.  Instead, we called Christmas morning in tears letting out families know of our trip to the hospital in the mountains the night before.

rainbow baby

A few months after my first miscarriage, I became pregnant with my first son, Breck.  I hadn't heard of a rainbow baby back then, 5 years ago.  But, if this conversation of rainbow babies would've been started, I know my healing could've come much sooner.

In July of 2015, I miscarried my second baby.  All the emotions came flooding back.  But, because I had worked through my previous loss, I was able to cope much better.  I was able to tell close friends + talk through it with my husband. The silence was broken. 

newborn photography Bridger

When I look at my children, Bridger Lee, Bowan John + Breck Andrew, I see the depth of life, the joy, the hope + the pain we all experience.  I know these emotions will all come at different times, some will stay longer than others.  We often hope for + live for the joy.  But, since pain is part of a full life experience, we might as well start talking about it to help each other through it.  Did I mention my rainbow baby has dimples?

rainbow baby

Did I mention my rainbow baby has dimples?

Photography by: // Lindsey Lee & Co.

Folic Acid Awareness Week

It's folic acid awareness week. Folic acid + folate. They sound like twins, but they are quite different.

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This past July, I was diagnosed with the MTHFR gene mutation. I know it sounds like I'm swearing, but the gene's official name is methylenetetrahydrofolate reductase. This diagnosis came after my second miscarriage. Both of my miscarriages really left an aches in my soul. The loss of the babies will always have an impact on me. My first miscarriage made me a mother. My recent miscarriage led me to the diagnosis of the MTHFR gene mutation. Learning how this impacts my life has been overwhelming, yet quite helpful to improve my overall health.  

I am not a doctor or a science minded person like my husband. But, I do understand that folic acid is essential to every cell in our body. Folic acid is converted to methylfolate, after several steps. Methylation is a fundamental action that is always occurring in our body. But, for people with the MTHFR gene mutation, we can't process folic acid properly. Resulting in many possible things like, recurrent miscarriages, depression, anxiety, pulmonary embolisms, autoimmune disease, and many others. The U.S. National Library of Medicine describes the role of the MTHFR gene here.

Here's the thing, folic acid is a synthetic, man-made vitamin + is fortified in foods. Folate is naturally occurring in whole foods. When we consume foods that are naturally high in folate, we are improving our health tremendously, even for those that aren't living with MTHFR.

Here are some whole foods high in folate:

Leafy greens

Broccoli + Cauliflower

Sunflower Seeds

Lentils + Beans

Asparagus

Papaya + Oranges

Turkey Liver

Brussel Sprouts

Orka

Folate is just one more reason to focus on eating leafy greens + other whole foods for important health benefits.  Cheers to methylation + folic acid awareness week!

What are your favorite high folate foods?

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Photography by Lindsey Lee & Co.