I've found myself wishing this time away. I've been wishing my sweet little boys current stages away. Bowan is just 9 months old & Breck is just shy of three years. But, I've been here before. I know how fleeting it is. I know my little boys will never be this little again. I know I will be wishing to be back here.
I need to be honest with myself. It's not that I don't love the stages my two boys are in. I love that Breck communicates so clearly. Exactly what he wants. Every time. I love that Bowan is exploring his world. I love that Breck chooses the most precious things to pray for. I absolutely love Bowan's huge laugh when we play peek-a-boo. Breck's creativity blows my mind when he finds yet another new way to turn something into a garbage truck. Bowan's newly discovered dance skills are completely adorable.
But, honestly this time is just hard for me. Bowan turns everything into a chocking hazard. When he can't find the tiniest non-edible treasure from the carpet to chew on, he tries to gnaw off the paint on the window sill. Yesterday, he pulled himself up onto the trash can & bit off a piece of the plastic bag. Um, 1/3 of an inch of plastic bag peeks out from the huge stainless steel container. Yet, he still finds a way to turn that into a chocking hazard. I'm trying to recognize that it's actually pretty trying for me to keep Bowan alive & safe during the day. Even in a baby-proofed house. I'm trying to tell myself it's ok. I'm trying to show myself the grace I so desperately strive to show my boys. Really, I'm just wishing that I can treasure these moments, these lessons, these stages. Because, we are making some beautiful memories.